Vanity?

All the while I’ve thought about my “someday-hair-do”, I’ve wondered.  Is my hair-style dream just vanity? Shouldn’t I be more worried and concerned with other things besides my hair?

You know, things like:

money

my kids

my husband

summer plans

housing situation

car issues

salvation (family members)

world peace

wells in africa

adoption

 

Oh, I could go on.

But I soon realized that none of that, not one single itemized worry, could do anything for my identity. Who I am.

But I just knew this hair-style would.

Or did I?

I’ve been putting it off for some time now (Close to 10 years), because I didn’t know or think that other people would like it, or that it would match with who I was pretending to be.

But, God.

I knew that God had placed a special kind of reaching in my heart to those who sometimes sport this particular hair-style.  They are usually considered to be the unreachable of society–not because they ARE unreachable, but because our society in particular treats those with less, those who don’t have, those who choose to be different, to say “screw the system”, those who choose to live with less,  those who may have mental issues and have made poor life choices, well, we (as a society) treat them as less than.  Less than human. Less than people.  Less than us. Less than image-bearers of God.  I’ve had it on my mind and heart over the past 10 years to be able to reach out and help the homeless, the orphaned, the degenerate, down-and-out members of society, the “freaks” whom the “Christians” won’t have anything to do with.

 

It’s always kind of bugged me, no, actually, agitates me to my core, that Jesus talked and walked and loved and taught anyone who came into His path. In fact, He often sought out the members of His society who were the untouchables, the unreachables, the not-wanted’s.  He had dinner with them, He let them minister to Him, and He loved them. So why, as followers of Jesus, have we taken on a somewhat superior attitude  of being better than all the rest because of  where we happen to go to church on Sunday morning?

 

One of the reasons I’ve put off so long what I did to my hair was vanity, pride, and just general I-really-do-care-what-people-think.

But in learning what I am, who I am, what God has called me to be (lots more on this later), I’m learning that no one’s opinion of me, my choices, or my hair counts. No one but THE ONE. 

My identity in Christ is so set, so firm in my heart and mind now, you couldn’t pry it away with chocolate.

I know who I am, and I know what He thinks of me.

All because I renounced the lies of the enemy of my soul, and sought God with all my heart. He promises that those who seek Him will find Him.

So with that, I give you a first glimpse of my I-love-it-and-I-don’t-particularly-care-if-you-don’t hair-do.  it’s still in its baby stages.  Infancy, if you will.

But the fruit that has come from this one simple change in my heart and life has shown me God’s faithfulness.  Over and over again. And His immense caring for those of us who are struggling. (There are a lot of us, by the way.)

He does care. He wants to know you. He really does. Seek Him.

 

(I’ve decided it’s NOT vanity. It’s quite the opposite. It’s laying aside vanity for Beauty.)

(these pics–the first one, taken yesterday while babysitting.  don’t mind the laundry on the other couch. there were more important things. the second? Don’t mind the laundry  hanging from the treadmill.  Apparently, I have laundry issues.)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Identity

 

(Image credit)

I lost my ID.

Not my driver’s license, not my Costco card, or my gym membership.

My IDENTITY.

I’m not sure when it happened.

Somewhere between my first day of college (20 years ago) and March 19, 2011…it occurred to me that I didn’t have it.  That’s a pretty long time to go without realizing you lost something. But yet, it happens more than we’d like to admit.  We graduate from high school, full of ideas, dreams and visions. We pursue our “after high school” plans….and at some point, we get married (or not), have babies (or not), gain weight (or not) (and for you who are in THAT “or not” group, it’s taking a lot of fruit to love you right now), we sag in the wrong places, we wrinkle in the wrong places, we grow distant from loved ones, we fight with our spouses (or not), we go places we didn’t think we’d go (good or bad)….you get the idea. Somewhere in there, YOU got lost. Who you are. What you are made of.  What makes you YOU. 

Most of the time, we don’t even know it happened. It’s like being robbed in the night, and waking up in the morning, expecting that the tv and the dvd player and your cash will all be there, only they aren’t.  It’s that kind of shock.

So when I went looking for some answers on how to get un-tangled from the web of destruction and deceit and anger and frustration, Mr. Therapist somehow saw around my questions and asked me who I was.

“Well,” I said, somewhat annoyed that he wasn’t all about answering my questions, “I’m a mom. I’m a wife. I’m an accountant. I’m an artist. I’m a knitter. I’m disorganized, in a really organized fashion. I’m I’m I’m I’m….” 

Mr. Therapist just shakes his head No.

No. That’s not really WHO I AM. Who I am is not what I do and what I’ve accomplished and who my covenant relationships are with and what my house looks like, inside or out.

Who I am depends on what my foundation is, in Whom I place my life and trust, and with Whom I plan on residing with forever. That’s who I am.

So my assignment for the week (Because we all know that good therapy includes HOMEWORK, right?!?) was to identify myself. What makes me ME? What is that based on?

I had the idea that this wasn’t just a random assignment. That God Himself was leading this man to direct me down this path.  Because it’s not just ME that’s lost her identity.

I bet you’ve nodded your head a couple of times since  you started reading this page….I bet you know exactly what I’m talking about.

I had no idea where this would lead, but I felt the Spirit of God leading me. To find my identity in Him, rather than in some kind of nothing-ness that leads nowhere and has no real results.

So, by way of virtual therapy, your assignment is to identify yourself.

Welcome to therapy.  I promise, this’ll be fun  worth it.

 

PS. I know. I said something crazy about a hair picture. We’re not to that part of the story yet. it’s coming, soon.

Turns out, getting UnStuck just takes a therapist, a haircut and Jesus

 

 

(image credit)

 

Turns out, the best things in life aren’t things….it’s living. And breathing.

 (ok, so I ripped that off from a Michael Franti Song…but it’s true….)

 

Life dropped out from under me almost 3 months ago.  There were situations in my lap that hadn’t even EVER entered my radar, let alone that I thought they were even possible in my lifetime. 

These aren’t good things, by the way. They are life-altering, dream shattering changes.

Turns out, living and breathing are the best things in cases like these. Because those are life-giving.

Life

Breath.

Turns out, Jesus has called Himself both of those things, and I’m here to testify that it’s all true.  Every syllable of it.

He is Life.

He is Breath.

He’s also water and light and heart and soul and joy and warmth.

He is therapy.

He is healing.

He is LIGHT.

My life was very very dark 3 months ago….longer than that, really.  it’s Just that 3 months ago—I was finally woken up to the reality of how dark, exactly.

Very very dark.

Turns out, He has pulled me out of a miry, muddy, nasty, filthy, dirty pit and set my feet on SOLID ground—He is the only foundation I’ll ever want under my feet.

He has set me free–and I’m free indeed.

He has brought light and joy and life and healing and peace to my maddening, confusing, dark, sad and lonely existence.

Thank you, Jesus.

Turns out, through it all, I’ve had Him with me.  Through His Word, through friends, through therapists, through music, through prayer, and through freedom—most of which I didn’t see until He came.  He is light.

10 years ago, I saw a hairstyle that I loved. LOVED. L.O.V.E.D . 

I’ve been waiting ten years for the right time to do it, to take the plunge, to be brave enough. I’ve gone through 10, 000 colors and cuts since then, but none of them the one I truly wanted. (My excuses? Never ending….need to be skinnier, healthier, smarter, richer, better….)

I’ve finally done it. I’d like to take you on the path where I found freedom….And it all started with a therapist, a hairstyle, and a dream in captivity…..

(continued tomorrow.)